My wish is for you and your family to have a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year in 2019.

2018 ended terribly for me and I am looking forward to 2019 for better days.

I share this because I’m sure some of you are thinking the same thing.

You see, I forgot to discuss with my psychiatrist about adding medications to prepare for the dark season. I struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) which affects many of us when we have shorter days and not enough sunlight. It causes major depression in me and this past week was a horror. I cried uncontrollably and was suicidal. 

Christmas Eve began well. I had my 3 children and my grandchildren here. I loved watching the little ones open their gifts and even several that weren’t theirs. LOL
My kids asked me to be open minded on a conversation which happens yearly. I was informed they were all invited to my brother’s house but to tell me I am not welcome. They are torn between old traditions which ended in 2011 and new ones where just us get together on Christmas Eve.

This conversation stems from a letter I wrote after my second hospitalization for suicidal thoughts in 2011. I shared with each of my 5 siblings how each of them hurt me and pointed out how they all gang up on me. I also pointed out about each of them and their indiscretions. Each one of them doesn’t get ganged up on like I always do.

One of my siblings can’t let it go so they all hold gatherings without me and my husband, Tony. 

My children still blame me for the problem and especially one of my daughters can’t let it go that I “wrote the letter”. It hurts me so much that I told her I can’t speak with her any more. My psychiatrist told me I made the right decision because I have to protect myself.

I share this because I want you to know although I share all my tools and support, I still struggle with mental illnesses and have setbacks.

How I got through last week and continue going forward is  mainly with support from Tony. He keeps hugging me and telling me he loves me and I am a good person and we will get through this. 

I saw my psychiatrist Friday and he prescribed Celexa, which has already started to help me feel better. He also upped the doses on 2 other medications.

I think positive and have my affirmations.

If you feel like you are struggling with depression, or stress of any kind you can reach out for support and know there is stress resolution in all forms. Know you can email me and ask for guidance in your particular situation.

God gave me these and many other health issues so I can be there for you and help you recognize you are not alone.

Please remember to listen to my podcast where I interview people about their support in many different modalities. I speak often about my mental illnesses and how I get through my days.


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